We Need Standards: An Op-ED Analysis on Communication in Creative Communities

People make excuses. We are living in a time where accountability is often talked about, but few take accountability for communicating with each other. Text messages are ignored, emails are not replied to, social media content is not engaged with ( social media is not social at all), whats the point of it all really?

Many people speak about boundaries, but not standards. Standards are important because people need to establish what we want from others, boundaries are important because we need to establish what we don’t want from others. You need both. Some consider their relationships emotional labor. I think people think this way because we never took the time to establish communication rules for each other.

Regardless of your communication style, or lifestyle choices I think we can afford to speak up about how we want to be communicated with in a time where we have so many choices to speak to people. Otherwise you are going to find yourself upset, confused, and unsure how to even bother moving forward with your artistic relationships or even your personal ones.

I understand that there are reasons for this some may consider it acceptable to be inconsistent. Some of those may be due to growing pains like having a difficulty with balancing your responsibilities, others may be experiencing mental health or personal issues, but I think there are some common denominators. I don’t have the data to explore those denominators, but I do think that there is an over-saturation of communication for some people which may relate to why people lack standards. Some people are experiencing infobesity which is the state of experiencing information overload.

Boundaries are important, but so is taking the accountability to respond and speak to each other. Today I want to give my opinion on how people can embrace or develop their own standards for how to communicate and stick to them. By sticking to them you develop a network with people that are reliable, efficient and don’t provide you with extra work or wasted energy.

Speaking for myself I learned a few years back in a communication training that there are people who tend to fall in three categories; communication dependent, communication flexible, and communication avoidant. This is self explanatory but I will share what these terms mean.

Communication dependent people are those who always need to talk to someone through a communication medium, whether it be in person, through a phone or device, they want instant replies just like in social settings and they crave assurance on projects. They don’t have a preference on which medium they speak on they just want to communicate, they enjoy meetings, they enjoy follow ups, they enjoy knowing that everyone is promoting the gig, they enjoy the project management of art projects. Communication dependent people are not to be confused with extroverts. Extroverts are people who gather energy from external sources ( not necessarily social people as many people seem to confuse) and does not feel drained when communicating with others.I have no data to correlate whether these people are anxious, or where they fall on the five factor model of personality.

Communication flexible people are those who have the willingness and ability to communicate in various communication mediums, they do not mind speaking to people who tend to ghost a way for a few weeks and then come back, they don’t mind speaking to someone every day. Their preferences for social media channels are indifferent and they take the accountability to reply at least to show that they respect the person they are talking to. As an extrovert I tend to fall into this category.

Communication avoidant individuals are those who really don’t enjoy social media. They arent social, they lurk and judge at peoples content. They don’t reply to peoples content or when they are spoken to unless it is a close friend or someone they are in a relationship with ( extreme avoidants don’t even communicate with those people either). They don’t pay attention to their phone,emails,etc. They tell people that they want to book a show and then don’t follow up, they tell people they will attend an event and don’t show up. They don’t respect their own responsibilities, on projects they often say things like “I forgot” or they double book, they lie to people about not taking responsibilities and then had a responsibility anyways and don’t have the audacity to tell the person the truth. They often say they prefer only one type of social media or communication channel and they will either stick to that or they don’t communicate at all.Some people accept this type of communication trait, but often its what causes and creates the emotional labor in DIY communities.

I don’t have research or data to correlate how these communication preferences relate to personality traits or mental illnesses, I would have to write a different blog for that. However, I wanted to lay out this framework because I think people should be aware of these styles when building their network and communicating with people. Think about which style you consider yourself? How do your bandmates communicate? Your friends? Your hired freelancers? Your producers? You need to be aware of how you communicate to be efficient and get work done. Without getting things done we don’t really have much of a DIY community.

The problem in DIY is there is no consistent standard on how communicating works. You can meet someone at a show and never see them again. Even after they tell you that they want to see you ,come to your show, or even book a show with you. Instead we should be telling people how we prefer to be contacted ,how long we take to reply, or whether its even realistic to see someone again . I know some may be reading this and thinking “thats why I don’t have expectations”, but without expectations, you allow people to disrespect your boundaries and your standards. Like I have stated before boundaries and standards are important to create healthy, clear and positive relationships. Its not possible to control people, and people ought to be free, but with freedom comes respect, accountability,boundaries and standards and I want to really hammer that as you read this. It may sound like work to think about that, but communicating these things shows that you care about the persons presence and want to connect with them further. Leaving people in the shadows while continuing to move forward makes it appear that you take them for granted or you are not interested in continuing projects with them. People should not take others for granted, we all have something special to offer and you do too.

When a booker says they prefer email, respect that preference, but when you email a booker and they follow up with you on Facebook, don’t hesitate that they in fact went against their word and are confusing. When a musician states that they are not available on a certain date to play shows an then they announce a show on the same date, call them out and say hey why didn’t you just say you had a show? When a photographer posts that they respond to DMs on IG and you offer them a price and location and you receive no replies while they are still posting photos of clients is that photographer even reliable? People state they want to do commissions, but they have no mention of price or refuse to communicate to freelance queries. DIY communities are communicating in ways that are so inconsistent it creates work. So what is the solution?

The solution is you have to respect bottom line needs. Use automation to create auto replies in your emails to reduce communication work. Google some articles to find which type of automation works for you. Introverts who like to conserve their energy would love automation. Be vocal about which communication channel you like to use and stick to it. When you stick to your word, you in fact create a standard of communication that people will follow. The music community is too diverse for their to be a large standard, but if individuals create standards and people respect them we turn the world around for healthy communication. Lastly, don’t lie and don’t flake that is the most important communication standard we all need to follow. When you don’t follow up you become branded as a unreliable person and no one wants that and no one likes an elitist when you are flaky to some and not to others. Lying should go without saying, just be honest and respect the needs of others, its like the golden rule treat others the same way you want to be treated and if you are lying to others ask yourself would you want to be lied to the same way you hurt others? The biggest bottom line is to respect the communication needs of others and to communicate clearly,concisely and efficiently. Don’t create work, help work get accomplished.

Thank you for reading and respecting my opinion, I think art communities and social environments can do better in treating people with respect and this is one way we can approach it.